Monday, April 02, 2007

Brown


To blog or not to blog. That is the question.

When things are getting you down a bit, it's easy to bury your head in the sand and pretend that it isn't happening. To forget to do the things that normally keep you on an even keel and to just be you.

The alternative is of course to write about all things and people that are currently annoying you. That can be very cathartic, and is wholly recommended. Usually.....

Unfortunately though, in my case, unlike you clever people who decided that blogging with an air of anonymity would be the way to go about things, I decided to go all out for five minutes of fame, and wrote in my real name from the beginning. It means that now, if you type Sally Lomax into Google, you cannot help but come across my blog.

This is great.

I have fame.

Well fame that is if you count typing a name into Google and it coming up with you. It's a sort of fame. It's not Marilyn Monroe, Posh Spice or Claudia Schiffer type of fame. But it is unmistakeably, unavoidably NOT anonymous.

And this is great.

Because it's sort of what I wanted.

Until that is, when someone says to you, that to blog about what you like, and who you like, isn't ethical.

That can sort of throw a BIG spanner in the works.

That is NOT so great......

Suddenly, your cathartic little way of getting round all things bad and negative in life is not available. Suddenly you think that everyone is reading you, (a relative word I know, because I keep a fairly close watch on my stats through the site metre), and everyone (in that very sort of small way) knows when you might happen to mention something, that MIGHT be something to do with them, which actually you would prefer that they hadn't read, about them that is, and although you actually wanted to say this thing, whatever it is, you sort of wished you had some other way of saying it, because you don't actually want the whole world to read about it here!

Sort of...........

And yet........ you sort of do want the whole world to know what you are thinking too........... at the same time. What has happened isn't fair perhaps, and people are being judgemental and harsh over things over which you have no control. You are not there to defend yourself, and no-one else has come forward to tell you that it's OK, they do support you, they are just however going to play the game and not let on that they support you. Instead, there is deadly silence.

You are left without any outside support. Your family love you, and tell you so. But of course, it's a bit like your Mum telling you that you are pretty when your first boyfriend has just chucked you. You sort of don't believe it, even though you should , because after all mothers know best. I know. I am a mother.

But in the meantime, all I can say is that it has sort of gone wrong recently. Ever since falling off a stage. I seem have fallen from grace from people who I thought were friends. And without mentioning anything too specific, it's all to do with the fact that I wrote a blog about falling off the stage, and then told lots of people who I hadn't previously told that I write a blog, that I had written a blog. The result was plenty of publicity. And the problem was that I didn't let other people who might have been affected by such publicity, know that I was going to write about that particular subject and let lots of other people know, in advance. Of course, I personally didn't see the need to ask permission to write about it, when I had been writing my blog openly for the last six months.

So I didn't ask permission....

And I did write.

And now, on a Monday evening when maybe I should be writing something funny and clever about dresses for Chris's "Fun Monday". Dresses that I may have worn, loved, cast aside. I am instead writing about being dropped from on high. And not just onto my knee.

So, on clothes, I feel as if I am lying in an outfit that I once bought when I was pregnant. I always managed to buy at least one strange outfit, every time I was pregnant. This particular time I bought a brown sleeveless jacket and long brown skirt. I hate brown. Probably because I was forced into it at school. It's the one colour that always made me feel ill, and, after buying brown in the early stages of pregnancy that time, it made me feel even iller. I still associate the colour brown with morning sickness............

Think brown. Think Pavlov. Think sick.

I think that right now that is how I feel.

Brown.

22 comments:

ChrisB said...

Oh Sally I can sense you're feeling rather low in thispost; don't let them get you down. The anonymity bit is always a dilemma. Did you see the victory petite anglaise had (I know its not quite the same thing). You know how much your virtual friends enjoy ALL you write and we love you (hugs). A friend of mine uses a lovely Latin phrase (which I can never remember) English version 'don't let the b*****ds grind you down' or words to that effect. Throw off the brown put on something bright and smile smile smile :) don't let them see it hurts is my philosophy (not always easy to do).

devoted Eldest Daughter ED said...

always look on the bright side of life
de dah
de dah dedahdedaaah!
YOU always told me that something good comes out of everything, and it all happens for a reason!

so...practice what you preach misses!

LOVE YOU!!!!!

and so do millions of other people!!!

just whistle a happy tune....

AAAAAAND Always look on the bright side of life!

Karmyn R said...

dang - okay, the only thing left to do is to start a different blog with a different user name that you can complain on all you want. (believe me, I have thought about this, because all though I may be somewhat anonymous - just so happens my family reads me - so I am NOT able to write what I REALLY want sometimes.)

Shame on those who put you in brown. Hold your head up, smile, and put on something bright pink.

pierre l said...

Hello Sally. So sorry you are having a bad time at the moment. Perhaps I haven't been reading properly, but I didn't think you had been saying bad things about your theatre colleagues. I thought I saw you telling a story and possibly laughing at yourself.

In any case, anonymity doesn't seem to work forever (e.g. Petite or OneTrack). I was reading quite a few blogs over the weekend including one where the young woman was annoyed that her live-in boyfriend had gone looking for her blog and found it.

I have vague memory of Zoe (of twat fame) being asked whether her family minded being written about. The answer was something like "well they've all got blogs and write what they like about me". (I hope I am not too seriously misquoting here...).

If you feel you can't write about some people, there are a lot of other things we would like updates on such as your boiler, your dealings with insurance companies, etc. Not to mention your poor knee.

Of course, I am being selfish and want to read you more. If you don't feel comfortable blogging any more, I am sure you will stop whatever we say. I am also sorry that you didn't make the green book, but hopefully there will be other chances.

Only you know how many readers you have, but I am sure they would niss you as well.

Many, many hugs

Beccy said...

Sally I don't know what you've written that has upset people I'm sure I've written far more critical posts.

I guess you could always go private and give out a password to those you don't mind reading you or create an annymous blog.

You are my first blogging friends and you make me laugh and cry. Remember that most of us reading you love you and your posts so chin up, best foot forward, blah de blah...

Ignorminious said...

Bah! Sod everyone and write what you like! I'm sick of this notion that it is a) wrong to write about people without their permission and b) wrong to offend people. Both are perfectly normal parts of life and no one would even notice them if it wasn't for this pathetic nanny state we live in, where everyone has rights and must be protected from the harshness of the world etc. It is all bollocks!

I actually think your blog is great and I admire you for being so up front about your identity. Personally, I was looking to escape the lime light when I wrote my blog, which is why I don't generally tell anyone about it these days.

I'd avoid writing anything about the little tossers who will sue your ass if they don't like what they read (you know the type: bullied at school, turned all bitter and twisted and now wants to get back at the world) and just focus on bitchin' about everyone else :D

Whatever happens, take a leaf out of Petite's book and don't quit blogging!

Wendz said...

Oh yeah. Man this blogging lark can ruffle feathers.

Sometimes I wish I were anonymous...being open does impose some limits - but to hell with 'them'. This is your space Sally - yours - and I have never read anything that can be classed as remotely hurtful to upsetting to anyone.Gah!

Keep blogging - we do love you and your writing. Promise.

Sally Lomax said...

DEAR Chris, ED, Karmyn, Beccy, Wendz, Ignorminious and Pierre L,

THANK YOU!!!!!!

I won't give up blogging. I just had a bit of a stumbling block which I had to overcome.............

I think that already, letting you all know what has been going on a bit has lightened the load considerably, And so now i will carry on, in my own name too.

As you said - even if you are anonymous, you can't be forever.......

So..... I shall continue to write!

I have been reading Blood Sweat and Tea, by Tom Reynolds recently and he mentions how good blogging can be for you...........and it is.

So......

Deep breath.

Here goes..........

The rest of my life!

enidd said...

sally, first enidd absolutely agrees with your other vfriends - we love reading you, we'd miss you if you stopped and please don't feel sad.

personally, enidd can see nothing wrong with anything you said about the theatre incident. she read once that you should only say stuff on your blog you'd say to people's faces, but she's not as good as that as she should be (hoohah for example) and anyway, the world would be a boring place if we were all too good.

keep writing, keep letting us know your opinions, because they're great, and insightful, and funny.

and you were enidd's first blogging friend too, and she doesn't want to lose you.

Asha said...

Hi Sally,that was so funny to read that you mum calls you pretty when your boyfriend just chucked you!HeeHee!! I know I sound like a sadist!

Hey feeing brown is better than feeling blue!! or is it?!

I like you as Sally Lomax.I can't imagine calling you anything other than that.You are famous,see we all flock you to read your post!!:))

Have a great smiley day!Hugs!

swampwitch said...

Let 'em get their own blogs for Pete's sake...besides, I've not seen anything that should have ruffled anyone's feathers....and if their feathers are so easily ruffled, give me their names, I'll do some ruffling.
Now, off to Google your name.

The very nice man said...

Hi, Sally,
There you are not feeling all that much upbeat and yet you find time to leave a comment of concern for me on my blog.
Well, I thank you so much and I am sending you a big hug of health and encouragement. The four of us really should get together for an afternoon tea once the weather is a bit warmer.
Bless you, Sally, and stick with it (for our sake)!

john.g. said...

Sally, I'm with all the rest, KEEP blogging and b*gger the antis. xx

Sarah said...

I can't imagine that what you've said that has upset people so much. Most of your posts are about your family or huge organisations which deserve to be ribbed (the organisations, I mean!). I agree with chrisb - 'don't let the b*****ds get you down', and continue blogging!

Wendz said...

Good for you! Go girl!

edvard moonke said...

how about two blogs? this one and another that is totally anonymous for those particularly risque posts?

mj said...

I've been reading your blog for a few months now and would miss reading about all the little things that comprise your life. How is it different if you tell your best friend about say, falling off a stage, who then tells her friend(s)and soon everyone and her sister knows about your mishap?

Keep blogging and let those who complain start their own blog so they can get it off their chests!

And because its spring put on pink, green or yellow to celebrate life and ditch the brown.

Beth said...

I'm baffled - what on earth did you say that could possibly have upset anyone?

I think it's sensible, if you are not an anonymous blogger, to think twice about what you publish - but really WHAT have you said that could possibly be taken as anything other than (as has already been said)having a laugh at your OWN expense??

Sally Lomax said...

Dear Edvard, Swampwitch, Enidd, Asha, John G, Sarah, MJ, Beth and Wendz,

Thank you for all your lovely comments!! I must admit I'm baffled too............

but I will continue to blog, and I am not going anomnymous I've decided.................. and if occasionally I offend, then to all those that I do...........

IN ADVANCE..............

I'm sorry!!!!!!

After all........it's meant to be fun isn't it?!!

Sally Lomax said...

p.s. and VNM too...............

elena jane said...

oh no sally, i am sorry that this open blog thing has hit you. i moved mine and felt better, but it doesn't solve the whole issue. tho i do have a rant/rave blog. it helps, and i don't need the input (so no comments) and no names.
but who could you have offended...say SORRY and remove the names and well...dump the brown outfit! go pink :)

hugs!

Sally Lomax said...

Thank you EJ!!

Will definitely try to dump the brown!