It all started the other night with a discussion about Kylie.
For some reason the subject came up with our teen children. Both hubby and I thought that she looked really good. Eldest daughter on the other hand said in no uncertain terms that she thought that she was effectively mutton dressed as lamb, and so "OLD". Ancient, I said. She must be at least seven years younger than me. Thirty seven perhaps? "She wears lycra, and leotards" came the response. Only when she's performing, I said. Surely that's acceptable? Clearly it wasn't and so the discussion moved on, as we certainly couldn't agree on the subject of Kylie Minogue.
Later I said to hubby that I wouldn't mind it if I look as good as Kylie.
"I'd rather have you any day." He said. Now don't get me wrong. I know that men have a tough time in understanding what is going on in a woman's mind, and that really they should have a manual implanted in their brain at birth so that they don't put their foot in it every five minutes, but sometimes, as a woman, it's hard not to accept that men don't have that implant at birth and that they can't say exactly what you want to hear. Perhaps men should be sent to charm school for a year after leaving school, and be taught how to repond to women in all possible situations.
I digress with the absurd, but I'm sure that many women reading this understand what I am saying.
"I'd rather have you for your personality," he persisted. O.K. I thought. I know that I have never looked like a pop idol. And I know that five children and many years of worrying about a very large mortgage have added undesirable lines and pounds, and it's great to be thought of as having a great personality, but it would also be nice to think that despite all that the person that you married thought that on the day that you married him that you were beautiful. And also that that opinion hasn't really changed in twenty years, and that when you scrub up for a party or something that you might just still pass the beauty test! AND also that of course WE all know that even Madge, Kylie and a whole host of others don't look as good without the make up, the designer garb and the touched up photos. So why not mention that too while you are in the process?
Naturally I just went quiet at this point and carried on with whatever I was doing and shortly made an excuse to go to bed. By the next morning, being a man, he had clearly forgotten that I had gone to bed feeling a bit hurt and carried on as normal. So the days passed and well here we are, back to normal again.
Never mind. Perhaps one day, I'll be rich enough to have a full makeover and a brand new wardrobe, go to a hairdresser that is somehow able to remove ALL the grey from my hair forever and get a personal trainer to sort out the excess baby flab! (Well nothing else seems to have worked in the last six years!) And by that time, maybe I'll be famous enough too to be featured in "Hello" with pictures that are touched up to the point that even fat frumps like me look good.
THEN he won't be able to say that he only wants me for my personality will he?!
4 months ago