Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Not quite the perfect mother............. and Happy Birthday ESOS!

I had been suffering from a serious case of broken down car syndrome.

'Loser cruiser' as the children so politely call it, breaks down with regular monotony, usually at the most inconvenient times. Late as I am, I actually hate to be late, and so when on Friday last I made Gymnast late for gym yet again, due to permanently disabled automobile, which needs to be fixed just long enough again so that we can sell it, I threw a wobbly, and told lots of people about it.

My lovely friend Headless Chicken came to my rescue, and yesterday she gave me a present. A very funny Sue Townsend book."What's this for I said?" "Because you're my friend, and I wanted to cheer you up."

Well thank you HC, it did.

Meanwhile, it was ESOS's birthday party last weekend, it being his 15th birthday today. Two friends came over and stayed for the weekend, and, being a mother, and therefore of completely the wrong generation, clearly elderly and with absolutely no idea about "who's a nice boy to go out with" nowadays, I made the mistake of possibly thinking that Sensible quite liked the look of one of said boys.

I made the bigger mistake of mentioning it to ESOS when, unbeknown to me, Sensible was nearly in earshot.

So as I said the famous last words "so don't say anything to her anyway will you" as I finished off my little gossip, she came into the room. "Don't say 'what' to me?" She said. "No, not you" I fibbed, badly. It was ED." "Don't say what to ED" she persisted.

HELP.........

"Well...." Think quickly Sally. Never very good at telling fibs I knew that I was by this time blushing and stammering............
"I think ED fancies someone.." I lied

"Who?" She said, expectantly.

"Oh, no-one in particular I said.

"So why do you think that?" She said.

"Oh..... just the way she's been lately."

Change subject quickly Sally...

Later in the car, collecting ED from dancing, I started to tell her the whole tale. Unfortunately, she missed the bit that I had used 'her' as an excuse, and so, when Sensible told ED that "Mum thinks you fancy someone", ED told Sensible that it was Mum, who thought that 'she', Sensible fancied one of the boys at ESOS's party.
By this time it was a bit like one of those children's stories where everything gets a bit out of hand and escalates to the point of.............

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH...................

Nearly 24 hours later Sensible went off to school, STILL not having forgiven me for my misdemeanours.
Meanwhile, both Gymnast and ED are home from school today with a tummy lurgy......

Lovely.

Much of course to Tinkerbell Mushroom's disgust.

"You never listen to me" she said.

I had been washing up and hadn't heard her latest rant about, "Not fair, off school, why can't I stay at home and have a nice day off...."

Huge house with huge mortgage for huge family, is of course made for servants. And so when, as often, I am in servant mode, washing up in the scullery, you do miss bits of the vital conversation, as, said house was very sensibly designed so that the skivvies like me don't hear all parts of the speech.

Came out of scullery. "You see, you never listen to me." She protested. "Sorry TM, I was in the scullery." "All the other mothers listen when they are in their sculleries." She said.

We went upstairs to get dressed. She wasn't talking to me.

Just then I noticed that there were 500 beads on the floor. I gave her her socks to put on, and started to pick them up.

"I love beads" I said.

The irony is completely lost on her and finally she is distracted.

"Did you have beads when you were little Mummy?"

At last I can see a reason for all those craft sets that are given to us year on year. There is light on the horizon.

Happy Birthday ESOS!

20 comments:

Asha said...

UH OH!! Be careful Sally, they "HATE" you forever!!:D

Happy birthday to your son!:))

john.g. said...

I am soooo glad my life is relatively easy! Happy birthday ESOS!

Akelamalu said...

Happy Birthday to ESOS.

You dug a deep hole there Sally! ;)

meredic said...

I remember a friend that my sister brought home in 1974 remarking something along the lines of 'cor your brother is alright...'. I dont think they have spoken since.

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday to ESOS!
You were snagged, Sally!
You were also nice about the beads, I would have been swearing under my breath instead of using sarcasm.

Sally Lomax said...

Thanks Asha!
Indeed John!
Ake - I did!
Meredic - Now funnily enough I used to quite like my brother's friends ....
Lisa - I was! And yes, beads, as you will have gathered are not my favourite pastime...

Beccy said...

I'd like a scullery to go to so I wouldn't have to listen sometimes! Trouble with my shoe box is that I can hear everything...all day long...all night long...

BTW I was shopping in the Mall, Cribbs Causeway, it's only minutes from mum's house.

elena jane said...

happy birthday to ESOS!!
i'm sadly lol @ your discussions...must remember this for event for future reference :-)
i often complain about being in the kitchen all the time, but at least our kitchen is in the same area as the main living area (lovely american open floor plan house of course). i would be desolate to miss conversations....but it makes a noisy housing life!!

Sally Lomax said...

Beccy - I was in Bristol this morning and gave your Mum a call, but sadly she wasa on her way to the airport with your BIL. Next time!

EJ - Open plan living can be really good. Saves many a communication breakdown!

Lori said...

I love that story. It sounds like there is never a dull moment in your house!! Happy birthday to ESOS.

la bellina mammina said...

Ooh, I love beads too!
Happy birthday ESOS!

Jayne said...

Your strories always make me laugh! Happy birthday to ESOS too, although I'm a bit late.

Pamela said...

your woes always make me laugh.
but I am sorry for you.. .really I am...

pierre l said...

Well, first of all a belated happy birthday to ESOS. You do need a degree in diplomacy to be a parent. It was a long time ago, but I'm sure my mother ended marrying her brother's best friend, so such things sometimes work. sorry to read about your continuing car troubles as well.

Mary Alice said...

I am always being accused of not listening and my home is the size of doll house...they are just forever telling me things from a different room while I have my head in the tub of the washing machine as it fills.

ChrisB said...

Very belated birthday wishes to ESOS.
Sally I was really sorry about Thurs but I'm sure there will be a next time and I look forward to it :)

Damian said...

So, er, judging by Sensible's reaction then, she does like him.

Sally Lomax said...

Lori
Indeed no. Nover a dull moment.
La BM
I like beads of a certain type that are designed to be worn, as necklaces on grown women!
Jayne
Thank you!
Pam
Thank you too!
Pierre
No one teaches you how to do the teenage thing. That's for sure.
Mary Alice
Sympathies!
Chris
Look forward to next time!
Damian
"You may think that. I couldn't possibly comment"................. Yes, think so!

swamp witch said...

Happy Birthday ESOS !
Hope you are over your broken-down car syndrome soon.

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