Saturday, November 01, 2008

All we can do is to think positively....

We have always called him the"Milky Bar Kid" because, just like the traditional "Milky Bar Kid" he has blond hair, glasses and a very cute "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth look." And, just like the "Milky Bar Kid", he always has a twinkle in his eye that just says, "I might get up to some mischief later.... but mostly Ill just be a nice kid."

Until two year's ago, when they moved away from here, I would regularly meet his mum in the playground. Regularly of course because, like me, she was always running into school with the MBK. We would all arrive sometimes just before the bell, but often just after. They, like us, often had no real reason for being perpetually late, other than the fact that her mind, like my mind is often full of "other" stuff, and she just needed to do twenty things prior to going to school... and think about a further forty.... and each every every task and thought all just takes a little bit longer than you think it will......

But she was great company and as friends we could always have a laugh about our complete inadequacy in the timings department. In a strange sort of way we possibly saw ourselves as slightly superior to "seriously on time mums". Of course, that was then. Once they moved away, and everyone else was "on time", I had to change my routines so that the children got to school on time. You see, as a late person, it is one thing being "late", but it is a different ball game all together being "last". I reckon that my lateness stems from being born three weeks early. By the time I die I should have caught up with those three weeks. It must be getting closer of course because I am definitely becoming more punctual as the years go on...

We have all kept in touch since MBK and his family moved away, and every so often we talk on the phone or we get together.

So, it was an ordinary phone call to start with.

"How are you?" I asked.

"In what respect?" said MBK's Dad.

Immediately I knew something was wrong.....

He put me onto MBK's Mum.

As the conversation progressed, I was told about how three weeks ago he had collapsed at school and how he has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

He is just a normal, lovely, fun loving, easy going nine year old.

He has a wish list of things that he wants to do.....

It includes a trip to Legoland and a visit to the cinema to see the new James Bond movie. They are just ordinary requests for any little boy, because that is what he is.

A kid.

And that is what he should be allowed to be.

I went to the cupboard and found my Tesco vouchers. I calculated that I had enough points to send a normal sized family to Legoland, so I wrapped them up and enclosed them in a card. It's hard writing a card in such circumstances. You feel completely inadequate and... guilty for having completely healthy family members. But so grateful. So very grateful.

Hubby, a confirmed aetheist does every so often question the things that non aetheist's question. His questioning confirmed what I was thinking. My religious thoughts over the years have blown hot and cold. I believe, but what exactly I am not always sure.

"If there is a God," said Hubby, "How could he possibly be so cruel?"

"Not everything is perfect." I say. "Perhaps even God makes mistakes."

I cannot hold with the view that these things are done for a reason, despite my very Christian based schooling.

It puts everything into perspective.

All we can do is to think positively, and, if you believe, pray.

P.S. ...... If there is any possibility that you could tell others, please do..... So that we can have as many people as possible pulling together......... Thank you.... S

17 comments:

Karmyn R said...

How sad. I can't even imagine the pain his parents are feeling. Too young. It makes me just want to grab my children and hang on to them.

ChrisB said...

Oh Sally that is just so sad. What devastating news to have, my thought are with his family and all his friends.

Alice Band said...

In my view, God isn't there to let kids and beloved ones live or die but to be there when the unthinkable happens. One to grasp in the very pitch darkness of one's darkest moments of life. that is not to say that I believe in all the rest of it: Bible etc etc. Don't disbelieve just a dispassionate observer..

Alice Band said...

And as such, send all my love and fond thoughts to your friend and family xxx

Keith said...

It's at times like this that I'm at a loss for words. I don't believe in a god, so I just don't know what to say.

It's a terrible thing to happen to one so young. I find it very upsetting when I hear of these things. I lost my own son to cancer, so I know the anguish his parents must be suffering. My heart goes out to them at this time.

Sally said...

Karmy - Yes I agree...
Chris - Thank you.
AB - Thank you - that's a good thought.
Keith - I am so sorry..... I knew about you son. I cannot imagaine anything worse than what you and MBK's parents are going through.

Please do tell others on your blogs.... please let's spread the positive message far and wide.... please....

Akelamalu said...

This is so sad Sally. :(

I know from our own experience (having lost two grandchildren at a very early age) that life isn't fair. However I believe there is a life path for all of us and although it may not seem fair it is what's meant to be.

My heart goes out to MBK and his family. I am sending as much Reiki as I can muster to them. x

Eloise said...

I am so very sorry to hear about RBK, Sally. I will be praying for healing for him and for strength and comfort and peace for his family.

Pamela said...

I just received news of a dear friend having a new chemo treatment (in Portland OR) .. and her brain tumor has disappeared off the MRI.

I pray that your friend finds a physician that will stand in the gap for them and find the latest treatment.

I believe in miracles.

headless chicken said...

Awful news Sally. Words in reaction to situations as unbearable as this always seem trivial and inadequate. All you can do is be there if they need you and listen if they want you to.x

Uncle Norman said...

Sally.

It does seem unfair and there is nothing one can say to people to make that hurt and pain any better let alone go away.


I am not the most religious bloke on the face of the earth, but my mum used say never loose faith. When I asked her if she meant in God or what, she just said “Always believe never ever loose faith and never give up hope” she never specified God or anyone else for that matter it was faith and hope that she said we needed to believe in.

Easier said than done sometimes.

Uncle Norman

little gymnast said...

It's really sad and he is much, much to young for this to happen:(

Sally said...

Little Gymnast has written a blog btw...... She would love some visitors!

Flowerpot said...

I agree with Ak - life isnt fair but do send my best love and best wishes to all the family.

headless chicken said...

Sally, I forgot to ask is the tumour definitely malignant? Sometimes inoperable tumours aren't and though it's still a very frightening thing to happen, they can apparantly just go away without surgery if they are benign.

elena jane said...

prayers for this family....and lots of positive energy!

Ignorminious said...

Oh Sally, how absolutely terrible! That poor boy and his family. It is so sad to know that, despite all our wonderful medical advances there are still things that were are completely unable to do anything about.

MBK and his family are in my thoughts.