I need to transfer some money from one account to another.
I do it by electronic transfer using the phone. It is the same bank, different accounts, so it goes in immediately.
Cash transaction really. Simple. Bank Account A to Bank Account B.
Then I realise that actually it is not a good day to do it, and so ring the bank again.
"Can I transfer some money from Bank Account B to Bank Account A please?"
"No, sorry. Bank account B is the wrong type of account. To do electronic transfers you need to have the accounts linked."
"But it's the same bank. I have simply moved the money from one pot to another, and now I want to move it back again."
I'm sorry but to transfer money into Bank Account A which is a particular type of account ... (and a different particular type of account to bank account B)... you will have to link the accounts first, and then transfer the money."
"How long will that take?"
"About four days."
"Can I do it another way?"
"You can do it in person at the branch. Move the cash.
Nearest branch is 12 miles away and we are now out of opening hours anyway.
"So why can't you do it now?"
"Because the system doesn't let me."
"But it was less than half an hour ago that I moved the money, and now I realise that there is a cheque going through on the account from where I have moved the money and if I don't move it back there won't be sufficient funds to pay that cheque, and then you will bounce it."
"And then you will charge me."
"Yes it will probably incur a charge if there aren't sufficient funds in the account when the cheque is presented."
Do they teach these people to speak bankese I wonder when they join the bank?
"So what can I do?"
"Well, you could phone us when you get charged, and we will probably remove the charge, as you have phoned us to alert us to the problem."
"But you can't stop that happening now by simply transferring he money back into the account?"
"But I transfer money from bank account to bank account all the time and I never had this problem before."
"Yes but......" ............Bank account B needs to be linked to bank account A to do this type of transfer. You have said that already I think....
Now of course, had I known that I would need a degree in banking to run very meagre funds in different accounts I would perhaps have taken one....
On the other hand, life is quite short.
4 months ago