Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Bankers

I need to transfer some money from one account to another.

Easy job.

I do it by electronic transfer using the phone. It is the same bank, different accounts, so it goes in immediately.

Cash transaction really. Simple. Bank Account A to Bank Account B.

Then I realise that actually it is not a good day to do it, and so ring the bank again.

"Can I transfer some money from Bank Account B to Bank Account A please?"

"No, sorry. Bank account B is the wrong type of account. To do electronic transfers you need to have the accounts linked."

"But it's the same bank. I have simply moved the money from one pot to another, and now I want to move it back again."

I'm sorry but to transfer money into Bank Account A which is a particular type of account ... (and a different particular type of account to bank account B)... you will have to link the accounts first, and then transfer the money."

"How long will that take?"

"About four days."

"Can I do it another way?"

"You can do it in person at the branch. Move the cash.

Nearest branch is 12 miles away and we are now out of opening hours anyway.

"So why can't you do it now?"

"Because the system doesn't let me."

"But it was less than half an hour ago that I moved the money, and now I realise that there is a cheque going through on the account from where I have moved the money and if I don't move it back there won't be sufficient funds to pay that cheque, and then you will bounce it."

"Yes."

"And then you will charge me."

"Yes it will probably incur a charge if there aren't sufficient funds in the account when the cheque is presented."

Do they teach these people to speak bankese I wonder when they join the bank?

"So what can I do?"

"Well, you could phone us when you get charged, and we will probably remove the charge, as you have phoned us to alert us to the problem."

"But you can't stop that happening now by simply transferring he money back into the account?"

No.

"But I transfer money from bank account to bank account all the time and I never had this problem before."

"Yes but......" ............Bank account B needs to be linked to bank account A to do this type of transfer. You have said that already I think....

Now of course, had I known that I would need a degree in banking to run very meagre funds in different accounts I would perhaps have taken one....

On the other hand, life is quite short.

24 comments:

john.g. said...

Sally, sadly banking isn't as simple as that. If it were several thousand Indians would be redundant, and the call centres closed!

Asha said...

We transfer money from one account to another in the same bank, to another bank and to mutual fund companies (after we set up once) too without a problem here. Got to get to know the inner works of banking!:D

Ignorminious said...

ernet banking! Tis the only way forward. I can sit on the computer all night moving money back and forth if I wants to. And no annoying phone people involved!

Alice Band said...

I agree with igmorminious, I love playing banks and transferring one lot of overdrawn money to another account!

Mary Alice said...

okay I am confused...the accounts are linked in one direction? So like water flowing from one pool down hill into another pool, the money can only flow one way? So the funds can't flow backwards/uphill? Is that what they are saying? I think I don't like reasoning like theirs, it's all very illogical to me.

Sally Lomax said...

Normally use internet banking, but for this particular account - again because they are not connected, telephone banking means that the transfer is instant.

Once I have "connected" the accounts, with any luck I may never have to speak to the most annoying people in the world again.....

Well, we can all dream.....

Karmyn R said...

I think that banker was just messing with you....didn't really want to do it so said he couldn't. Yup. That's what I think.

Sally Lomax said...

John - Very true!
Asha - That is how it should be, and normally is....but not last night with this account!
Ig - Very true....
Alice - Indeed ...but see earlier comment!
Mary Alice - My thoughts EXACTLY!!!!

Sally Lomax said...

Karmyn - Or just didn't know how to work the system....

ChrisB said...

Total madness~ whatever happened to customer service! Hope you got the guy's name so you can quote this conversation, if they try and charge you if you go overdrawn!

ED.com/dislikes_les_banques said...

banks are so stuuuuuuupid!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

headless chicken said...

How infuriating! I'm SO glad Kev does all our banking as I would certainly not be able to stay polite whilst talking to such unhelpful wankers. Oooops, I mean bankers.;)

Sally Lomax said...

Chris ......If they DARE charge me......

HC ..... I don't think I am very polite to them on the whole. I find them a bit irritating to say the least!

Lisa said...

More and more I just want to dig a hole in the backyard to hide my little $, except it would make it hard to pay the mortgage!

enidd said...

it is not a coincidence that banker rhymes with wanker. enidd has just had another experience with hbsc, the worst bankers (and wankers) in the world. you have enidd's sympathy.

theotherbear said...

Oh they are all evil b@stards, bankers.

meredic said...

Hey I had an message the other day that might just help you out.
It seems there is this guy in Togo, Umboko Ngaba I think his name was, well he is looking for a bank account that he can transfer several million into for a respectable percentage. I could forward his e-mail to you if you like?

Beccy said...

We just have one account which either does or does not have money in! We keep meaning to open another account but I hate dealing with banks and reading your posts make me hate them even more.

Alice Band said...

My bloggers seem to have disappeared! I feel abandoned!

Akelamalu said...

Sometimes I think it would be easier to take it all out of the bank and keep it under the bed! :(

elena jane said...

omg, that is way too complicated....
hope they remove the charge when they can move the money over!!

pierre l said...

A week later, I hope that the problem has been solved and that your cheque didn't bounce after all.

belle said...

... and whose money is it? You'd think it was their's! They should watch out - you might do a Northern Rock on them!

My Canadian bank account is a bit the same. One wrong input in the password and you are back to having to phone them ... which on a different time zone is strange!

Sally Lomax said...

Hi Everyone

Sorry for the absence!

Been busy!

Thanks for all the comments......

And thank you Beccy!!!!!

Sally