I was just getting to the bottom of my favourite post holiday job.
You know how it is. All your favourite people writing to you. Loan sharks, insurance companies, banks. Not to mention the 655 emails offering me things to enhance parts of my body that I didn't even know I had.
Then, the phone rang.
"Can I speak to Mr. Lom-m-max please?"
"I'm sorry, he's not available. Can I help, I'm his wife."
"Is that Mrs. Lom-m-m-ax?"
"Yes, I believe so."
Having established that he was from Talk Talk, he then proceeded to take every piece of available personal information from me needed to rob my bank accounts of their overdrafts, before telling me why he was calling.
He informed me that we had an amount outstanding on our account.
I explained that I had paid the bill in full on 25th July, prior to going away, by internet banking. (I'm beginning to like internet banking. If you get it right, you can nearly get away without talking to call centres. It's not quite as good as my tin pot method, but it's a compromise...)
"But the last direct debit we received on this account Mrs. Lom-m-max was in May."
"Yes, that's because I pay you directly by internet banking."
Communication in these communication companies is a wonderful thing.
"So do you not want to set up a direct debit?"
"No. I prefer to pay you the way I do."
"But there is an outstanding balance."
"I think that you will find, that you are probably sitting on my payment for for the statutory three weeks before processing it. That is how it is shown on the bill every month. I'll go and check my accounts, and if you haven't been paid, I will pay you. If you have, then I'm sure that you will find it just in time for the next bill, as always." (Or perhaps I should have said, "Once you have gained as much as you can from the high interest account that it is currently sitting in...")
"But would you prefer to set up a direct debit anyway?"
They had been paid. I checked.
Their days are numbered though I fear, for as I walked over the road to buy some milk, I met a man who was working out where cable networking could be put in our village.
Eat you heart out Talk Talk. We might be able to get cheap telephones and internet connections soon!
4 weeks ago